Where there's a will..

I'm off work with a bumper cold/ chest infection green gunk thing. My sister has bullied me into making an appointment with the Doctors ('You need antibiotics! Sicking up green gunk is not normal!') So I'm seeing the Doctor this evening. So naturally my thoughts are turning towards death. My death.
Steve and I tried to make a will about 4 years ago. We went to the solicitors , but unfortunately he couldn't seem to get his head around the fact that we were childless, would remain childless and wanted to leave a third of our estate to someone who was mentally handicapped. It was a very upsetting experience. So I got upset and we still didn't have a will. Any how now that I'm gravely ill I googled 'last will and testament' and have done it on line. Talk about easy peasy. I even had to fill in details about funeral/cremation that the stupid solicitor didn't ask about. I have saved it so Steve can read the details- so fingers crossed he survives the drive home - and then we can pay it.
Talking of funeral arrangements - I want to be cremated and have flowers. Steve does not want flowers because he thinks that is gay (wtf? he'll be dead and worrying that people will think he is gay). Steve has got a cool idea, he wants balloons tied to his coffin. So that when the coffin goes into the furnace the balloons will all go BANG!!!!! Obviously if I'm still around I won't be honouring that request.

Just come back from the Doctors with a handful of antibiotics, one to to be taken 3 times a day.