But he's my life!

I was talking to a male friend of mine the other day. A few years ago he went out this gril and it was by all accounts a very intebse relationship. She announced to me that she loved him. this was the first time I had met her and was pretty surprised by the announcement.  I don't go round telling people I love Steve. I think I answered something like "Oh good".

I was pretty surprised a few months later that they had split up. bloke friends are different from girlfriends in the fact that when they tell you they have split up, you don't pry too much. Whereas with girlfriends you  go through things with a fine tooth combe and analyse everything that ever happened. 

Any how after several years my friend (oh how  I wish I could use their real names - no one reads this anyway!) started to tell me why they broke up. He couldn't do anything right in her eyes. The wrong presents, the wrong ideas, the wrong shirt.  I thought how can this be? when she was talking to me it was all how wonderful he was, how they were soul mates etc etc. I've been thinking about this and I think sometimes you build up someone in your mind so much you lose sight of the actual person. He is your soul mate! you were born to be together! You think about him all the time! So when he gets things a bit wrong- like buying Roses when you prefer Celebrations (for example) it is devastating to you. You were never make that mistake about him. Perhaps you aren't the centre of his world, but he is the centre of your world.  Then you get resentful and he cops an earful and he has no idea why. or even worse you expect him to be a mind reader. That really is a lose/ lose situation.