24 October, 2007

Whisper

From 16 to 21 I had a boyfriend who was a complete mind control nut job. I was just too young to realise it and thought I was the problem. Towards the end everything I did was wrong, my self esteem was lower than whale poo. I was too big, too noisy, too thick, too ...Gina. I lost all faith in my own judgement. the good news is that once you get rid of a creep like that it is surprising how quickly you can recover - and you do learn not to let that happen to you again. But it does leave you with the odd button or two. I hate being told that I'm noisy,too loud. There are times when I am loud I know that the people telling me that I'm loud are not being control freaks - they just stating a fact. Intellectually I know that they are not out to get me - but my heart doesn't know that.
So I'll sulk instead. then they will be sorry when they will keep having to ask me to speak up.

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