I ring Dad to talk about the England win. the phone rings for ages (that is nothing new, they can never remember where they left the cordless). The phone is then picked up and it sounds like it has been dropped.
Me: Hello? Hello?
Mum: Is dad with you?
She sounds about 80. She sounds feeble and sick
Me: Mum, are you all right?
Mum: Is dad with you?
Me, v. worried, what is going on?: Mum its me, Gina. Are you ok?
Mum: I am sozzled.
Me: What? Where's Dad?
Mum: I'm sozzled.
Me, patiently: Why are you sozzled? Where's Dad?
Mum: I went to the pub with Angela and Jo. I've no idea where Ted is.
Me: Do you want to call him?
Mum: No.
Me: have you had any water?
Mum: Bye.
I give it 5 minutes and call again.
Dad: hello
Me: what's going on with Mum?
Dad: We went to the pub with Angela to watch the football. She had 3 glasses of wine. Your Mum can't take her drink anymore.
Me: She doesn't even know you're there Dad.
Dad: I bought her home!!!
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